


Reflections

by Kidfish



Series: these poems are for you [4]
Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 21:45:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8550271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kidfish/pseuds/Kidfish





	

Do I wish we had never met? 

If remembering you means memories of long phone calls, the ghost of your laugh tickling my skin, spreading goosebumps on my skin to form a map that would always lead back to you  
God I loved you. Sometimes I think I still do.   
That sounds like the biggest fucking cliche, but God, if that's what it takes to be loved by you then I’d do it in a heartbeat.

No.

If remembering you means clenched gut, swallowing regret like it was the pills I had to start taking after you left, forcing you name back down when first loves are mentioned at parties, unnecessary guilt felt whenever I have a new lover.   
If remembering you means I'll be haunted by the thought of you in ten, twenty, twenty-five, fifty years from now, and   
The future we would have (could have) had.

Maybe...

Not letting myself open up to people isn’t an instinct, it was an adaptation I learned so I could survive after you.  
When we were together, everyone said that we were each other's other half;  
Two halves don't make a whole if one of them is broken (empty) inside  
If remembering you means crying in school, crying myself to sleep, crying, crying, crying, crying until there's nothing left to cry about  
The sting of your words on my heart, still here, after two years.   
I wish we could do it all over again  
Or better yet; not do it at all

Yes.


End file.
